One for the fat people

I was at the gym today, jogging/walking on the treadmill. A bunch of women were gossiping loudly near me. One of them - a bleached blonde mutton dressed up as lamb with her bling bling and her big hair, said to another woman - who was very plain looking and very overweight, "Oh, I'm sorry I'm gas-bagging and holding you up! Hey, want to run together?" (About now I was totally sympathising with the fat woman. That has to be anyone's worst nightmare. Who wants a running buddy on a treadmill?) So they get on their treadmills.. fat woman looking decidedly uncomfortable...

Mutton: So how fast do you normally run?
Fatty Boombah: (looking embarrassed) Oh, not very fast. Really. I go slow.
Mutton: What, 12? 11? (kph)
Me (in my head): Oh you stupid, stupid cow.
Fatty: Oh no.. more like 8.5. I told you I go slow (now looking like she wished the floor would open up and swallow her whole)
Me (in my head): Geezus isn't it lucky treadmills are for SOLO activities and you don't actually have to run at the same pace? And even better you can run side by side if you really want to and not even know how fast the other person is going!!

So they get going - Fatty plodding along at 8.5 and Mutton cranking it up to 12..

Mutton: So how far do you go?
Fatty: Oh it depends (about now you can tell she's wishing this bitch would just go away) I start off aiming for 4km and see what happens
Mutton: oh right.. yes *pant pant gasp* well I'll stop talking now so you can get on with it
Fatty keeps plodding along at 8.5kph
Mutton: ooh boy, I forgot how fast these things go (umm... you set the speed, love). Oh look I'm out of water. I think I'll go top it up...

So she stops the treadmill, fills her water bottle and comes back only to crank it up again. After about one minute she says "ooh gosh *gasp pant pant* Is it frightfully hot in here?"
Fatty: hmmm... I'm ok
Mutton: Right yes *pant pant*

About a minute later:
Mutton: Gee those bikes are certainly looking appealing
Fatty: hmmmm (keeps running)
Mutton: Well, I think I'll get on the bike for 10 minutes and finish up
Fatty: Ok then.. see ya (keeps running)

Me (in my head): HIGH FIVE!!!!!!!!