My cards are amazing

We had friends over on the weekend and I did card readings.

Oh.

My.

God.

I even amazed myself!!! For one of my friends I mentioned a new business opportunity overseas, a legal conflict with a woman, an emotional issue causing her to have health problems. She said that I hadn't said one thing that didn't make sense to her.... and she had never told me any of it.

The next one wasn't so amazing but I mentioned her starting a new job (which I knew anyway) and there being one woman who she needs to watch out for and another who is a friend and ally. Also two men who she works with being helpful but there wasn't much more about them. Also possibly changes coming up with her husband's job (which I didn't know). She confirmed all of it.

What amazed me the most was that while I was reading cards and all this stuff was coming out, it turned out that two of my friends (as in, Annabelle's friends) might have the opportunity to relocate overseas next year. But get this. To the same place we are considering relocating to! :-0 We could end up on the other side of the world with all of our Adelaide friends. How weird is that?

Unsettled

There are Things Going On. Not bad things, just Things. Changes. I'm not allowed to talk about the Things quite yet because nothing is confirmed, but the changes will not be insignificant if they do happen. In fact, they will involve entire turning upside down of one's life and lifestyle.

I'm feeling rather unsettled and anxious about the whole thing even though nothing is definite yet.

More later. For now, I need to focus on what's in front of me, i.e., my stupid uni presentation and my stupid ethics proposal so that I can finish this stupid Master's degree.

What a day

I cried again today. This is the 2nd time I've cried at placement. What a sooky la-la.

The first time I had to actually cancel a client because I was a blubbering mess. We had done a morning meditation during which our supervisor, Matt, told us to "breathe in all our discomfort" (instead of the usual pushing it away that most people do, y'know?) And to breathe out compassion and kindness to all the people in the world experiencing discomfort. Breathe in the discomfort. All the painful feelings you don't want to experience. Breathe them all in. So like a good little student, I did. And then after it was over, I bawled my eyes out. I actually had to work hard not to blubber *during* the meditation. Waaaaayyyyyyy too much discomfort for my liking that day.

So immediately after meditation finished I had to ask Matt for advice about a client. There I was asking about a client while having a total emotional breakdown. When he gave me a slightly quizzical look regarding the possible reason for the emotional breakdown, the only explanation I could come up with was "Well, you would go and make me breathe in my discomfort!" I tell you what though, if you're ever going to have a personal crisis, a psych clinic is a good place to have one. He very gently asked me if perhaps I might prefer to cancel the client. Lucky one of us was in control of their faculties because I SO could not have seen a client but I was all OF COURSE I'M NOT CANCELLING THE CLIENT! ARE YOU MENTAL?!!!?

Needless to say, I cancelled the client. .

So that was several weeks ago.

Today, we had our usual weekly supervision and it felt like I got hammered. I didn't actually get hammered but that is how it felt. Probably I'm just feeling fragile and overwhelmed and stressed again. I was kind of ok with it, but he (poor, frazzled, sleep-deprived Matt dealing with neurotic students day in and day out) came to see me later to ask if I was ok after my hammering and to tell me it's no reflection on my performance, and that I'm doing really well. And the floodgates opened again. I'm a basketcase, there's no doubt about it.

Let's see if I can get through to the end of placement without getting myself committed.

Long time, no blogging

I'm so bloody busy I can't even think straight. No kidding, it's like information comes into my head and falls out my ears. I can't retain anything. We seem to have a calender full of dates - for both business and pleasure - that keeps growing longer and so every time someone says "How about doing such-and-such on this date?", instead of me being able to do my usual "Oh it's a Sunday. Yes, Sundays I'm free" or "Yep, Fridays I'm home with Annabelle", I'm having to go "Hang on.. which date is that? A Saturday in September? ummm let me see".. and run through the filofax in my brain to work out what's going on before replying "No I'm sorry, Saturdays in September and October are all booked but I do have a Saturday in November still available. Hurry though! It won't last!" argh!

It doesn't help that I have chosen to keep Annabelle home on Thursdays and Fridays. Lovely for girl-time, but not lovely for keeping up with all the extra bits and pieces that need doing but simply do not get done with a 3yo underfoot.

Anyway, enough whinging. I have an ethics application to write.