Another dream

This one wasn't very nice. Oh, and yes I'll get to posting the photos of the trip! :)

Yesterday afternoon I was talking to a colleague at work and saying that for the first time I'm really worried that someone in the house might actually end their own life. There are some serious mental health issues with some of the residents there at the moment and she (my colleague) agreed that she was concerned about the same thing. We normally have some really complex clients there but for me, this is more of a creepy vibe, or a sense of impending doom.

So anyway, last night I was lying in bed and I suddenly remembered a dream I'd had the night before last. I don't know why I'd forgotten it, but it suddenly came back to me. In the dream, I'd been at this place which was "work" (it wasn't my actual work but you know how it is in dreams...) and I was with a person who I think was my brother. A man was sitting down talking to someone when he suddenly turned to me and said he had a message. He was like a psychic guy and he said he'd been visited by an angel and asked to tell me something. Then I saw a woman standing next to him with long blonde hair. She looked very pale and spooky. I asked him if that's what the angel looked like and he said yes, her hair is white and I was like "wow I can see her". So he said she wanted to tell me that someone was going to die. He said she could see the word "Walker" printed on the forehead of the person next to me. "Walker" in this case referred to "walking dead". :-0

What is worrying me now is that if the dream was prophetic, why was my brother in it? And if it was really my brother, why were we at my work? So I don't know what the dream means or if it means anything at all, but considering some of the stuff I've been feeling at work, the dream suddenly felt horribly real. I couldn't sleep at all last night, going over all the details of it in my head. Or maybe the dream is what made me feel creepy. I really don't know.

I decided all I can do is send everyone white light and hope for the best. eek.

We're back

We had a fabulous time in Sydney and I'm a bit bummed to be back and having to go back to work today. :( I'll come back later and post the photos and fill you in on what we did. I had so much fun and so did Annabelle. Mel was with us this time and he was raving about how great Sydney is and how we can't sell the house because we want to move back there. DUH!!! So I guess it was good that he came with me this time so at least he gets what I'm on about.

I think I need to make some lifestyle changes if I'm to survive this city and a weekend away (and some lovely sunshine) has at least given me the inspiration to spend time thinking about what I really want to achieve over the next couple of years...

For now, it's time to get toddler dressed and head back to work. More later.

One step ahead of you, my friend...

If you've read this blog, you will know I am addicted to The West Wing. When I finish Season 7, there will definitely be tears. Oh who am I kidding? I cry in every episode, so when I finish Season 7 there will be THERAPY! There is no question about it. My life will not be the same.

I normally hire the discs four at a time and there are 3-4 episodes on each disc. I try to get through four discs in a week because they are weekly hire, but quite often I don't, so I have to re-hire a couple of them. That's ok though. I still always hire four, since it's four for $10... but I digress. My point is that from Season One right through to Season Seven, I have walked in and picked up the next four discs and pretty much every disc from every season has been there. Until last weekend...

I finished Season Six a week ago, and had a little break knowing that once Season 7 is over there's no more so at this point I really should pace myself. But after a week off, I was having some minor (read: major) withdrawal symptoms so I rushed to the store on the weekend to pick up the first four discs of Season 7. You can imagine my shock and dismay when I got there and *gasp* Disc 3 of Season 7 was missing!! How could it be? For starters, what kind of fan hires out ONE DISC? There should be a law against it. And besides, it totally screwed up my 4 for ten bucks deal! There's no point hiring Discs 1, 2, 4 and 5!!!! I NEEDED DISC THREE!!

After taking a moment to collect my thoughts, I decided the only thing to do was hire Discs 1 and 2 and watch them slooooooowwwly so that by the time I finished them, Disc 3 would be safely back on the shelf. Yeah right! I had finished both discs (yes, seven episodes) the very next day and had Mel furiously dialling the video store to see if Disc 3 had been returned. But it hadn't. How bloody rude. The only comforting thought at this point was that Season 7 is not for weekly hire - it's only four day hire. So I only had to wait until tomorrow to get my much anticipated WW fix.

But today while I was at work, I had a terrifying thought. What if the rude individual (who doesn't deserve to be called a fan. One disc. ppffttt!), takes back Disc three today and hires out Disc FOUR?! And keeps it for another FOUR DAYS!!!! I might have actually started to hyperventilate at the thought of it. Mel happened to phone me just at that moment and when I answered the phone, before even saying hello, the words were pouring out of my mouth.. "I'm afraid something terrible is going to happen. I think the bastard who has my Disc Three is going to try to get away with my Disc Four. We have to DO something!". Mel, who knows me well enough not to take this lightly, immediately went into action planning. "What do we do? Do you want me to call them and find out if it's there?" I calmed down and said no, it's fine, I need to learn to live without it anyway and I'll just wait until it's due back tomorrow.

We got home and Mel was still plotting. This is why I love my husband. He called the video store to ask if my Disc Three was back and found out that it was actually due back at 7.30pm tonight, not tomorrow as previously advised. TONIGHT!! He left his number and asked to be notified immediately of its return to circulation. He also (bless him) instructed the shop dude to put Discs 4, 5 and 6 on hold. Ha! TAKE THAT you non-fan. I'd love to see the look on their face when they try to get the next disc and find out they can't have it. That's called KARMA baby! :-D *does victory dance*

Note: at the time of writing, there has been no phone call from the video store, so it is possible that Disc Three is now officially overdue. This may call for more serious action. Last time I checked there were 175 video stores in the greater Adelaide region...

My love affair with pastry

I know how sad this is, but I have only recently discovered the world of pastry. Do you know how versatile that stuff is? It started several weeks ago when I decided to make quiche. Having never made quiche before (I know, pathetic), I was amazed at how simple and delicious it was! I started with salmon and it was very yummy so the next weekend I made another salmon one. The following weekend I decided to get creative and made one with asparagus and mushroom and another with.. wait for it... pumpkin, baby spinach and parmesan. MMMMMMMMMMM! It's become somewhat of a Sunday morning ritual. We have quiche and salad for lunch and it makes lunches for a few days after.

But we all need a challenge and seeing as how I am obviously now a quiche connoisseur, I decided it was time to move onto PUFF PASTRY. So last Sunday morning instead of the standard quiche, I whipped up some spinach and ricotta with fetta, garlic, cheddar, lemon juice and mint, and made some spinach and ricotta filo parcels. I'm telling you my husband would have married me all over again. They were to die for. I'm not sure what's going to be next on my pastry journey - perhaps some kind of pie...? Really, the possibilities are endless. Ah, pastry. Where have you been all my life?

Another passport dream...

About a week ago I had a dream that I thought was significant. I won't go into all the boring detail but it involved me preparing to catch a LARGE plane. Interestingly, I was aware in my dream that I was overseas and the plane was to bring me home, not the other way around. I was in an airport and people were around me, ready to see me off. I was collecting things along the way that I would need, and then - right when I was ready to board, I suddenly stopped frozen with the realisation that I don't have a passport. That was the end of the dream. Except that I remember thinking "But I'm already overseas so I must have got here without one, therefore I'm sure I'll get back without one. I'll just get on the plane and no-one will ask me for it".

Now, in reality my passport has expired and I need to get a new one so maybe the dream was literal but I got the feeling it was more symbolic.

Fast-forward to a couple of nights ago and this time I was stuck in heavy traffic. It was going way too slow and I was in a hurry to get to this place where I was to collect my passport. When I got there, it wasn't an actual passport, it was more of a security ID thing. The lady who gave it to me assured me that it's all I would need. So again, I got the feeling I didn't need the actual passport.

I've been thinking a lot about these dreams and I'm thinking that maybe the passport is my Masters degree. I've been hesitant about starting a supervision program because everyone tells me that in psychology you really should get the Masters. Even though I know plenty of psychologists who don't have it and are very successful, those are psychs who were registered years ago before Masters became the way to go. Medicare rebate for Clinical Psychologists (ie with a Masters) is $110 an hour, but it's only $75 an hour for psychs without a Masters so if I was to bulk-bill, I'd automatically be increasing my income by at least 25% with a Masters degree. And these days most hospitals will only employ Masters graduates and the same with a lot of organisations. But on the other hand, it's hard work, it's expensive and it's time consuming. And you don't actually need it to practice as a psychologist.

Argh, I'm getting myself all confused again but I think both those dreams were telling me that I don't need it. And my gut feeling is that I need to start the supervision program and see where it takes me (ie just get on the plane). The woman who has offered to supervise me is very well regarded in the industry and I'm sure she would have lots of contacts who could possibly help with my career after I'm registered. She is on the board of the Australian Association for Infant Mental Health and her colleague wrote the position paper on Controlled Crying which I spam people with whenever I get a chance. These are people I would LOVE to get to know better.

We'll see. With a bit more meditation and some more passport dreams, I might have an answer...

First haircut!

Well, her first proper haircut at the hairdressers I mean. I don't think resorting to using scissors to chop out a huge, tangled knot counts as a haircut does it? Because I've had to do that a few times. *blush*

Annabelle has lovely blonde curls and we've been happily letting them grow wild but when the child hates having her hair brushed and is also slightly (ok, very) averse to having her hair washed, it's hard to keep that mane under control. She's constantly brushing her fringe out of her eyes with jam-covered fingers. Ugh! So we decided we should probably get some professional advice on the subject. She knows all about haircuts because when mummy and daddy get one, she spends the whole day saying "Mummy, BOOOOO-ful haircut. Daddy BOOOOO-ful haircut". So we spent a few days leading up to the big event telling her it was her turn to have a booooful haircut!

Saturday morning came, and as soon as she woke up she reminded us that it was haircut day. The kid has a memory. We explained to her that she'd have to sit very still while the lady brushed her hair and she said "Lady make Annabelle cry?". We said no there'd be no reason to cry and she said again "Lady make Annabelle sad?". Who knows why she thought this was going to be a terrible experience?.. Possibly because me brushing her hair usually results in tears... or maybe she was remembering the last lady I took her to, and that would be the DENTIST! That one definitely made Annabelle cry.

So off we went and as it turned out, none of us had reason to be concerned. She sat in dad's lap while she got brushed and snipped and was very happy to watch the whole thing in the mirror. When the mirror got boring, they brought us some books. Clearly they had done this before. The end result was that we decided to leave her fringe to grow out but she (hairdresser) took about an inch off the bottom which she said was baby hair that would start breaking off anyway. She left with a beautiful butterfly clip, a nice neat part for the first time in her life, and swanned around the salon giving the royal wave to all the customers. "Byeeeee!! See ya laaaaater!!" and with that, dad bribed her with a marshmallow to get her out of the salon while I stayed and finished getting my colour done. She got a little certificate to mark the occasion, together with a handful of curls to take home in an envelope. And here are the pics of the big event:

Decisions, decisions...

I found a new (potential) supervisor. She is a Clinical Psychologist who specialises in attachment and relationships and works with mothers and children. Totally up my alley. She's very lovely and would be a great supervisor and if I kept working here and undertook a supervision program I'd be registered in two years. Cool. The catch is that her fee is higher than the other dude I was going to go with, and I'm not sure if my boss will pay the extra, but maybe I could kick it in myself. I'm not sure but I'm happy to have the option of working with her.

To keep my options open, I've also applied for Masters next year. I wouldn't be able to afford to study full-time so I'd have to do it part-time which would take FOUR years. Ugh. But it's a much more highly regarded qualification and I'm probably going to do it eventually anyway. Even doing it part-time I could probably only work part-time because it's pretty full on - so between working part-time and studying part-time, Annabelle would still need to be in full-time daycare. And of course my current job is five days, so I'd have to either negotiate less hours or find a different job.

I don't know which is the best way to go. I also don't know how long we might stay in Adelaide so the two year supervision option seems more attractive because it's quicker and at least I'm earning money and I would get registered (Hello Medicare Rebate!) and then there are Masters courses you can do externally once you're registered.

*sigh* gotta go.. I'm supposed to be working... but I'm all confused. I think I need to meditate on it.

Email me

You know how I got the fancy spancy new computer? Well all my addresses are stored in the old one and I thought maybe to save going through and finding you all and transferring them over, you could just email me because once you have done that, your email will be saved on my new computer when I pick up the email. What's that you say? Me? Lazy? Just do it.

I got a new computer

It's an iMac and I'm totally in love with it. Yes, it's a desktop but since I've already got a laptop I figured I didn't need another one. The old one is getting too slow and the hard disk is full and it would have been too expensive to upgrade the memory so now I have one of these. Yeah baby.

What you see is the whole thing. No big CPU or anything, just a screen with a keyboard and mouse attached. Have I mentioned I'm in love with it? I could just sit and stare at it all day. The DVD burner is on the side of the screen, the webcam is built in and all the hard drive is built in. I have to go, Annabelle wants to play with it and I'm telling her exactly what I said to Mel. Get your mitts off it, baby it's MINE MINE MINE!!!!!!!

Spring has sprung!

The first day of Spring was a bit of a fizzer here in SA. It was cold and raining and I was quite put out because I usually LOVE the first of September and usually it seems to know what it's supposed to do and manages to turn on some nice weather, even if only for the day. Alas, not so this year..

I'm happy to report that yesterday was much more seasonal. Gorgeous and warm with blue skies. I had to drive to an appointment and even had the window wound down enjoying the warm breeze. Last night, for the first night in months we slept without the a/c on overnight (no lectures about my carbon footprint, this house is freezing in the winter!) and when we got home in the afternoon, I actually opened up the back of the house and Annabelle happily played outside in the daylight at 6pm.

The change in season has definitely changed my mood. After being in a slump for the past few weeks I'm feeling a little more positive about lots of things that I've been feeling less than positive about. I'm still re-thinking this whole working gig though. Well, I should say I'm rethinking the working FIVE DAYS thing. I don't enjoy being apart from Annabelle that long and worry about how it might affect her in the long-term. Now that the novelty of the job is wearing off, it's really starting to bother me. I have to say, nice weather certainly isn't conducive to wanting to be in an office for five days!! I'd much rather be in the park with my girl.

Who knows? If interest rates keep coming down maybe I can afford to find something part-time. Wouldn't that be nice!